If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
