He uses pillows to masturbate.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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