Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
