Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
