Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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