meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Randomize
