Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
