you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
