I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
