Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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