Don't you send me to vm
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
