i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
