Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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