Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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