i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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