when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
how does that bad decision feel?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
