so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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