I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He better not be in your backpack
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
