I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
