I am in a vortex of obligation.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
