I bet he comes in French.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
