Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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