if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
