I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
