i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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