Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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