when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
