I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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