have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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