Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
