A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
