youre lurking in front of me
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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