it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
