i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
