I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
