im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
