We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
