im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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