he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
