toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
