i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
