Apparently you make a good broom.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
