Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's Friday. Sex?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
