How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
