i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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