wanna go halves on a baby?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
