I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
