the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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