Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
false alarm, still single
Randomize
