I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So much rum. So many feels.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
