so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
