yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
