so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we made out on top of his cat.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
